For those of you who’ve been following me for a while know that I’m a girl who likes to wear a lot of hats: I am a coach, I’m a speaker; and I’m also an entrepreneur of a business called the Hertzog Homestead. We have an award-winning bed-and-breakfast, a spa cottage, and an event venue. Obviously juggling all the various components of the business, sometimes things happen I can’t control. Sometimes multiple things in the same period of time happen. So we are going to talk about what to do when things are completely out of your control and how your responses affect not only you but your colleagues, your customers, your family, and your friends.
Psychotherapist Aimee Moran came up with five ways that you can help yourself when you are feeling completely out of control of a situation.
- Determine what you can control.
Last week I had multiple things happen, one after the other that cost me money, time, and aggravation. I had a leak in my bed-and-breakfast that caused not only my kitchen walls to be damaged, but also my bed-and-breakfast suite and the closet. This resulted in a lot of painting and patching. I could control the painting and patching, but I couldn’t control the leak
- Identify your fears.
Often times when we are feeling insecure it brings up a lot of old things that we believe about ourselves, things that are incorrect that come from an unhealthy perspective. Sometimes we as adults spend years and years refocusing our fears into something more healthy. Identify what that thing is that you are afraid of and deal with the head trash before it takes over.
- Concentrate on your influence.
Concentrate on the things that you can change about the situation.
- Look for unhealthy coping skills in your own life.
When someone is feeling stressed out, one person might run to the fridge, another person might open up that bottle of wine on a Thursday night, for somebody else it might be binge-watching Netflix on a Saturday. Whatever it is for you, determine what that thing is. If it is an unhealthy coping skill, even if it’s not killing, you determine if it’s really healthy or not. If you’re not sure, talk to someone in your life who loves and cares about you and is going to be honest.
- Develop healthy affirmations.
Be kind to yourself. Sometimes stuff just happens; don’t beat yourself up about it, especially if you can’t fix it or it isn’t your problem in the first place. For example, last week when the kitchen wall was a disaster, I had to use this methodology myself by looking at that wall and saying I just painted that wall; it looks way better than it did a week ago when there was no leak.
Find that positive. This is a healthy affirmation that I’m offering myself and there’s nothing wrong with that.
The next time you feel out of control, the next time something comes your way that smacks you upside the head and leaves you wondering what you are going to do with the situation, remember these five tips and try to apply them.
How do you handle times when you feel out of control? How do you deal with the lack of control in your own life?
If you are struggling with this issue, I would love to help you. You can reach me on my website at kristenhertzog.com. I specialize in helping people to deal with getting more out of life in business. Determining what you can control is one of many challenges that we in the workplace have to deal with so you’re not alone; there is help out there through coaching and through talking with other people.
Kristen Hertzog is among the featured speakers at the 2018 Fashion-Forward Wedding Event, where she will be sharing what to look for in an event venue for your next wedding, corporate retreat or executive function. Space is limited; register here.
More information is below.
If you are looking for your venue and fashion tips for your wedding day, we invite you to this exciting event!
Please attend our exclusive Fashion-Forward Wedding Event at Hertzog Homestead Event Venue, featuring StyleOgrapher Toussaint Ulysse who has worked as a Fashion Consultant for GQ, Glamour Magazine, Moet Hennessey and Louis Vuitton. Stay on top of the latest wedding fashion trends for men… because your wedding is not a dress rehearsal!
Also, enjoy some great eats courtesy of The JDK Group, and enjoy a glass of Hertzog Red Reserve Wine. Hear from Performance Coach & Venue Owner, Kristen Hertzog as she shares the top 5 tips on how to choose and create the perfect environment for your wedding day.
Carmina Cristina is the only professional makeup artist in Central Pennsylvania that has extensive international training and more than 10 years of experience. Carmina’s dedication and passion for makeup, especially bridal makeup where she is able to help women feel truly beautiful, inside and out, on the most special day of their lives. Learn from Carmina Cristina on her top Bridal Beauty Trends of 2018.
We all want to make a difference in this world. We all want to be doing something that makes us feel good about being alive and helping others. Whether you’re working in for-profit business or a non-profit organization, sometimes it’s just easier to help the easy way.
The “Easy” Way
I’m an international business coach so I travel to other countries, particularly in the developing world in countries like Haiti, to offer business coaching to small business entrepreneurs and non-profit organizations. I’ve seen over the years how people help the easy way – creating a culture of dependency. For example, taking rice and throwing it out of the back of a pickup trucks to poor slum houses and receiving gratitude from the Haitian people. Maybe even getting a nice selfie picture of that American putting their arm around the Haitian who just received that bag of rice. That’s helping the easy way.
The “Hard” Way
But what about if we were to help the hard way? What if we were to invest in those people by offering training and long term solutions? What if we were able to help them problem solve their own issues so that they can eventually get their own job, to help themselves and their family?
For example, an easy idea for people to execute is to visit a country like Haiti with suitcases filled to the brim with donated items; Tylenol, baby shampoo, used clothes, books and supplies to give to the people. But what if we work smarter – a little harder – and created a business development plan?
My past visit to Haiti we did just that, we brought down those suitcases filled with items, but instead of giving them away, we conducted seminars on how to act in an interview. And then we conducted interviews. The people who did the best job with the information we gave them were offered those suitcases filled with items that they could turn around and sell to the public generating income – generating empowerment – and a more long term sustainability.
Empowerment and Long Term Solutions
It’s not changing the world overnight but I encourage you to help people the hard way. Are you offering trainings, customizable solutions, workshops, for people to get better at what they do? Or, are you just putting fires out?
I want to encourage you to work the hard way and find ways to empower your people so that they want to work with you and stay on, fulfilling your missions and goals as a company or an organization.
How does it work for you? What do you do to empower your people? What types of trainings do you provide? I’d love to hear from you. Comment below!
Have you ever been in that moment when you are planned and prepared, and suddenly you’ve got to shift gears because whatever you were thinking wasn’t the direction that you needed to go in?
Several years ago, I was asked to present at a school in Baltimore. I was asked to share interesting things about popular culture with lots of references to keep the kids engaged. I was excited and got online to research on musicians, sports, books; things I thought the urban youth would be interesting in learning about.
It was the first time I had been to that school and as I got closer and closer to my destination, I got farther and farther out in the country and I realized I wasn’t going to a Baltimore City school, I was going to a Baltimore County school. The demographic of student is significantly different in this rural school district versus the city school I was expecting.
As I pulled up to this school, I saw tractors lined up in the front and sign that said, “Drive your tractor to school day.” The presentation, as great as I prepared it, was not going to fly at this school.
Admit When You Have to Shift Gears
One of the things I had to do with myself, is admit this is not going to work. I had to shelf that awesome presentation for another time.
Access How You Should Do It Differently
The second thing I had to do in that moment, was to access the audience – look at my audience and talk to them first before delivering that presentation. I had to figure out what they cared about… What was interesting to them… What types of popular culture I should be referencing in the presentation that followed.
Wing It With Confidence
The third thing I had to do was exude confidence. Those kids did not have to know the mental gymnastics I had gone through just a few minutes before walking in the door of that school.
I want to encourage you in your mental flexibility:
- Admit when you have to shift gears
- Access how you should do it differently
- Wing it with confidence with poise and grace
And don’t forget to congratulate yourself – this isnt easy to do! How do you use mental flexiblity in the workplace? I would love to hear from you in the comments below!
In this video, Kristen interviews Author and StyleOgrapher Toussant about sharing your business story. To find out more about Toussant and his work, please visit: http://www.toussaintphotography.com/home
Kristen Hertzog, International Performance Coach and the Business Professionals Team invites you to the Transform 3 Day Business Seminar on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, January 10-12, 2018, CHOOSE TO COME MORNINGS EACH DAY: 9 AM – 12 PM OR AFTERNOONS EACH DAY: 2 PM – 5 PM.Located at Institution Puit Jacob de Pistos (IPJP) in Montrouis, Haiti. Kristen Hertzog is the former Executive Director of Haitian Connection Network.
Join us and learn from professionals who work in their field about:
* Secrets to Help You Budget Your Money
* How to Start Your Own Business
* How To Move on From The Past to Have Greater Future
* What Every Small Business Owner Needs To Know
This 3 Day Seminar, taught live by American business people is open to all Haitian men and women. A certificate of completion will be available at the end of the three-day seminar. Cost is 300 Gourdes, or $6 USD. Please be on time and bring a pen and notebook with you. Contact Pastor Gessner at 36058864 for more information.